I Didn't Know I Had It in Me

So I finally went to have my blood pressure checked for the third and last time and give my doctor the blood he needed to monitor blood sugar, cholesterol, uric acid, and whatever else he needed to do.

The blood pressure lady had to take my BP three times. First time it was 131/95. She told me to relax (that word again). I think her manner stressed me out-that and the fact that they didn't let me wait for 15 minutes before they called me in. For that matter, I had just been to my mother's house and, these, days, it is always stressful to visit her. They are supposed to let you sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes to give you a chance to settle down, cardiovascular-wise. The third go-round was much better. I closed my eyes and did some deep breathing while imagining things to personal to mention here. Let's just say there was a desert island and a tribe of beautiful young women whose men-folk had perished in a very selective typhoon.

That got my blood pressure down.

Then, of to the blood-letting department. The guy at the counter took my paperwork and handed me a container, saying, "We'll also need a urine sample before you leave."

I had not prepared for this. I did not feel any urge to go. I had a moderate amount of water in the morning, but not that much. And I couldn't remember if I had whizzed that morning or not.

So, I went to the blood-letter first. She was short, pudgy lady who had all of her tools ready for me. Her somber face and dark, cavernous eyes watched me as a lioness watches her prey as it saunters innocently across the veldt. "How are you," she said very slowly, as if it took effort.

"Fine, thank-you," I replied.

I held out my arm and she drained five vials of blood from my arm. I always expect pain when they stick the needle in my vein, but am always surprised when it doesn't hurt much at all.

Then, it was off to the urinals with my uncertain bladder.

In the booth, I opened the container and my gave it a go, so to speak.

Nothing.

So, I imagined myself back on that desert island....